Touch of Evil

I have read the reports and the blog postings and heard the stories. I thought I lived in a community that was so tolerant and compassionate that it wouldn't happen to me--to my son. Today it happened.

We had a busy morning and Liam had behaved extremely well. His behavior was beyond reproach at the YMCA Child Watch and Trader Joe's while we did a week's worth of grocery shopping. Of course I praised both kids and planned to reward them with their favorite tv show. I made the mistake of pushing the limits by stopping by Ralph's for a few items. While we waited at the deli counter, Liam started to lose his cool by screaming--a high-pitched toddler-style shriek. I did my best, but he ran screaming down one of the aisles to face a woman in one of those electric riding carts. As he turned around to run back to me, I heard her say, "You should put him on a leash." Oh. No. She. Didn't.
I dragged both kids by the wrists, pushing my cart while chasing her. "Excuse me," I said when I finally caught up. Those electric carts are suprisingly fast. "Um, yeah, I heard your comment and I just want you to know that my son has a disability called autism. . ." "I have a disability," she snapped, before I could finish. "Yes, well, I don't need your parenting advice. I'm doing the best I can and if you think you can do better, you're welcome to. . ." At this point, she started yelling, "Shut up shut shut up!!" Oh. So that's how it was. I was dealing with crazy. Liam started giggling at her outburst and she snarled, "Look at him laughing--the idiot!" I swear to you this really happened. It had taken every ounce of self-control not to follow my impulse to strike the side of her fat head with my fist. I just know you can't fight crazy with crazy. I said, "Clearly you're not going to understand" and turned to leave as she yelled, "Put him on a leash!" I was shaking as I made my way to the front of the store.

I told a grocery cashier that I had just had an ugly encounter with a fellow customer and didn't know if it was over. The cashier turned to get the manager, only to notice that he was engaged in an ugly encounter of his own. We could hear her ranting at him "you shouldn't allow people like that in this store", "he could have knocked my cart over" blah blah blah. As she passed behind us to leave, she yelled, "Scum!" at us. I still wasn't leaving without my fucking Diet Coke. The manager apologized to me and said that when he suggested to the woman that maybe she should have stayed home today, she turned her insults on him. The cashier told me they had also seen her have an altercation at the deli counter earlier. All through this, Liam held it together perfectly.

Two things:
1. Why did this happen? I always try to look for the truth and the lesson in what happens to me. I'm not seeing it.
2. How do I undo it? How do I make my kids forget that they saw and heard evil in the frozen foods aisle? How do I explain to them why an adult would call a child an ugly, ugly name?

I know in my head that it wasn't personal, that it wasn't our fault, that this woman was not in her right mind. But in my heart, it still hurts to remember someone spitting venom and hate at my little boy.